Just another day

Today, has pretty much been "just another day." I am in Orlando on business, and sat in meetings today from 8am to 8pm. THere ha e been a couple things that have struck me today, so I will write about them briefly, and then, I will retire to bed, as I have to be back up to do it again at 7:30am EST.

Today, I looked in the elevator mirror, and I actually liked what I saw. I liked how my hair has grown out. I liked my clothes. I didn't look that fat. I actually thought I looked pretty darn good, which is rare for me. You see, I grew up listening to my mom telling me I was fat, and always thinking I was ugly. I always longed to be one of the pretty girls....the skinny girls. After reading some of my book yesterday (see yesterday's blog), about the lie that we believe that outer beauty is more important than inner beauty, I realized that I, too, had believed that lie. Yesterday in my reading, I realized that God made me who I am, and that to him, I am beautiful....and today, I looked at myself in a new light.

It doesn't matter how much I try to fit in, how I dress, or how I look, it's what's inside that really counts. I know that sounds cliche, but it is true. God's love for me isn't going to change based on how I look or how I dress. People's opinions of me are going to be based much more on how I act than how I look. If I portray a Christian image, I will be perceived as such.

At best, physical beauty is temporal and fleeting. Proverbs 31:30

I am not, however, without sin today. At our evening "social," there was an open bar. One glass of wine turned to two, and before I realized it, two turned to five, and I was not quite the new me I've been trying so hard to be. I consiously tried to make sure that I didn't swear, didn't use the Lord's name in vain, or do anything that God wouldn't approve of me doing. However, I felt guilty. I shoud have known better. Why do I need to be inhebriated to fit in? Better yet...why do I need to fit in, at all? I need to stop drinking, and it is something that I plan to address with God. Not that I drink often, but it is still not something I should do...at least not for the purpose of getting drunk.

And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit. Ephesians 5:18

What I do know is that I miss my family. I miss my husband. I miss my church. Even though it's only been two days since I was there, it feels like much longer. I feel distant right now, and that's not somewhere I want to be. I am anxious to go home tomorrow. To be reunited with my husband who will help me get re-focused on my/our journey. I am even more anxious to accompany him into the house of our Lord tomorrow night for a special Praise & Prayer service which I so desperately need.