How could I have been so blind?

Today was a great day. A day filled with church, friends, family and understanding. Something amazing has happened to me in these last few weeks. As I have truly started to seek God and further my relationship with Him, I find myself with thoughts and answers that I have never had in my journey before.

Today, as we sat in our Core class at VCC, we listened as our leader spoke about Jesus. About His ministry, about His humanity about His death, and of His return. I have always been very fascinated with His return and the "end of time." I have always wanted to know more about it... When will it happen? How will it happen? What are the signs that it is near? How will we know it's time?

I heard today, a scripture I have heard before:

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in haven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Matthew 24:36

Now I understand that it says that no one knows, but what about 2012? What about all the scholars and theologians that say they know when it will take place?

Today, I learned that Peter and Paul both said that Jesus would return "soon." 2,000+ years later...still, we wait.

Therefore, you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. Matthew 24:44

So, today, while sitting listening to these scriptures about how plainly it states that no one knows, my mind drifted, and I wondered why, if they can't know, they would try so hard to figure it out. Why so many people have dedicated countless hours and resources to write books and lectures and pour out theories on something that they would never know?

And it hit me like a ton of bricks (thanks for that, Holy Spirit). I was so interested and desperate to know WHEN because I wasn't ready. I wasn't right with Him, and I was scared. I wanted to know when and how I'd know the signs because I wasn't willing to give my life up to him. I wanted to keep on living the "good" life that I was living, because I would, at the very last minute, repent, be forgiven, and somehow just make it into the pearly gates. Really? REALLY?!?!

How foolish. How naive. How selfish. How much farther from the truth could I have been? I had used the "I want to watch my kids grow up." line many times... but now, even that doesn't make any sense to me. Why in the world would I want to wach my children grow up in this world? Why would I want to have to watch them go through all the trials and tribulations this world has to offer them? Why not be anxious for Him to return so that I can spend all of eternity with my children? In a place where there is no sin. No suffering. No hate. Only love, peace, and full understanding as we walk and reign with God.

I realized today that if I'm truly saved (which I now know I am), and I know I'm going with Him when He comes (which I also now know I am)....it doesn't matter if that day is today, tomorrow, or another 2,000 years from now because I am right with the Lord. I don't need to know when or what the signs are going to be....because I'm not going to just "sneak in." I'm going out professing my love for him, hands raised, and ready to be one with Him.




On a side note....at the end of yesterday's blog, I mentioned that I had been given a mission. Today, part one of that mission was fulfilled. I didn't even have to fight for it...it just happened. And while I'm not quite ready to say what...I'll just say that it's something that hasn't happened in over 15 years! I am SO excited! God is doing amazing things in and through my life right now!