Well, in less than an hour, Bob & I will leave the house, get in the car, head to the airport and board a plane to Boston for a week.....WITHOUT the kids. Though this is not the first time we have gone on a trip without them, this trip has me worried much more than the first.
I was very excited about this trip. So anxious to get away, spend a few days with colleagues, and then a couple more just Bob and I. And then? The seizure. It happened less than 2 weeks before we were to leave, and I immediately said I wasn't going. Doctors, Bob, the nanny, friends and family convinced me otherwise, so off I go.
This morning I asked a special friend at the church to pray that the girls would be fine while we were gone. She saw right through me. She said and I quote, "The girls WILL be fine. I'll pray for YOU." Am I that transparent? LOL. I balled my eyes out this morning in church just thinking about leaving, and asking God over and over to take care of them...and us...while we are gone. I asked for save travels, a safe return, and protection of all those involved in their care while we are gone. And though I am confident he will answer my prayer and deliver once again, I am fearful. I am scared to be so far away...this time more than ever. So, I need your prayer.
While I may not have found all that God has in store for me, I do know one of his purposes for me, and that is to be a mother. I love my kiddos so much....you never realize just how much until you're about to walk out the door. I can't wait to get back home, and I haven't even left.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Finding Purpose
So, a lot of time has passed since I've blogged. I don't really have a good excuse other than I've been busy...in a slump of sorts....lazy....any of those would work in my book.
As many of you know, last week was very traumatic for the Greenwood family, as our little one Aspynne, had a seizure on Tuesday morning out of nowhere. We spent all week stressing, having tests done, etc....only to find that she's just perfect (which we already knew). God has been amazing to me since last Tuesday...and it's really lit my fire. During Aspynne's seizure, I fell to my knees and cried out to God to save her. He did. The next day, I begged him to take the images of her seizing from my mind, as I could not get past them. He did. A couple days later, I asked him to please deliver me from being afraid to be around her. He has.
Yesterday, Addyson asked Jesus for a rainbow. And within minutes, he delivered.
He's given me so much this week....and I have to ask myself what I've given him. I've been volunteering in the Nursery/Preschool at church the past few weekends, and I'm really enjoying it. I would have never thought it would be something I wanted to do, but I felt called, I listened, and I am loving it.
A guest speaker at our church yesterday spoke about our "calling." I know that I've been chosen, and now, I feel like I'm being called. I just don't know where. I feel like there is something great out there for me. Something that I will truly love that I can serve Him and fulfil all of his plans for me doing. Maybe the Nursery/Preschool is the beginning of that "training" that I need before he sends me out....maybe it's not.
Bottom line is....I'm not sure how to find it. I am praying...because I know he answers prayer...that he will show me. I want it handed to me on a platter, or flashed in front of me like a neon sign. I'm ready. I'm willing. I just need to know where to go.
If you read this, say a little prayer for me. Pray that I will find whatever it is that God has for me to do so that I can take that leap of faith and follow His instruction.
It's not that I don't love my job, or my life, or where I'm at right now, I just feel like there's something MORE.
As many of you know, last week was very traumatic for the Greenwood family, as our little one Aspynne, had a seizure on Tuesday morning out of nowhere. We spent all week stressing, having tests done, etc....only to find that she's just perfect (which we already knew). God has been amazing to me since last Tuesday...and it's really lit my fire. During Aspynne's seizure, I fell to my knees and cried out to God to save her. He did. The next day, I begged him to take the images of her seizing from my mind, as I could not get past them. He did. A couple days later, I asked him to please deliver me from being afraid to be around her. He has.
Yesterday, Addyson asked Jesus for a rainbow. And within minutes, he delivered.
He's given me so much this week....and I have to ask myself what I've given him. I've been volunteering in the Nursery/Preschool at church the past few weekends, and I'm really enjoying it. I would have never thought it would be something I wanted to do, but I felt called, I listened, and I am loving it.
A guest speaker at our church yesterday spoke about our "calling." I know that I've been chosen, and now, I feel like I'm being called. I just don't know where. I feel like there is something great out there for me. Something that I will truly love that I can serve Him and fulfil all of his plans for me doing. Maybe the Nursery/Preschool is the beginning of that "training" that I need before he sends me out....maybe it's not.
Bottom line is....I'm not sure how to find it. I am praying...because I know he answers prayer...that he will show me. I want it handed to me on a platter, or flashed in front of me like a neon sign. I'm ready. I'm willing. I just need to know where to go.
If you read this, say a little prayer for me. Pray that I will find whatever it is that God has for me to do so that I can take that leap of faith and follow His instruction.
It's not that I don't love my job, or my life, or where I'm at right now, I just feel like there's something MORE.
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