For the first time since attending VCC, we went to Saturday evening service because we are attending two classes Sunday morning that will prevent us from attending the regular service. I will have to say that A) I was surprised at how many were in attendance on a Saturday evening and B) it just didn't feel the same as going on a Sunday morning. There's just something special and sacred to me about worshipping on Sunday. Maybe I'm just a creature of habit, but nonetheless, it just felt different.
Pastor Kevin is in the middle of a series called The Kingdom of God. Tonight's message was about how you can't possibly HIDE from God. You can't keep secrets, you can't tuck your sins in a closet, you can't fool him about who you REALLY are. This message runs through to my core because for so long I claimed to be a Christian, but I certainly didn't show it. It's like I was trying to fool God into believing I was saved without really ever having to prove it. How many times have I lied? Lied to better myself, lied to get ahead, lied to get my way....and got away with it? Never had to let anyone know of the lie I told....and was proud that I succeeded? Well, I didn't get away with it. God knew. He knew before I did it that I was going to do it. How foolish of me to think that there wasn't someone that knew my deepest darkest secrets....
At the end of the service today, Pastor Kevin challenged each of us to come forward and confess our "secrets" to one of our church leaders. To confess, repent, and ask forgiveness so that we can be freed of the guilt and shame that we are carrying because of our transgressions. Now, I've never been to "confession," nor can I say that I ever got the point. God already knows what I did...why do I have to tell someone else?!?!
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16
Then Joshua said to Achan, "My son, give glory to the LORD, the God of Israel, by telling the truth. Make your confession, and tell me what you have done. Don't hide it from me." Joshua 7:19
As the two different sides (good and evil) went back and forth in my head, I debated whether or not to obey the preacher's command this evening. While I knew I had a secret to confess, I didn't want to have to say it out loud to anyone, much less in church...in God's house. But I did. As I try to be strong in my faith, and listen to the calls of the Holy Spirit, I was obedient, and I confessed. I confessed about something that prior to today, only two people in the world knew about...and once I got through the tears, it felt good. A huge burden and weight was lifted off of me tonight. I have now confessed, repented, and have been forgiven. Not only that, but through my confession, the Holy Spirit spoke to me...and I have seen how I can redeem myself, and make it right.
My path is clear, and once again, I will listen.
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