Comfort Zone

We had a great time seeing Mom yesterday! Aspynne was so sweet to her, and I was even able to take some sweet pictures of her and her MiMi! Mom seemed overall in good spirits, and didn't seem in too much pain while we were there. I know that she is still very discouraged by her inability to move, but at least for the time we visited, was cheerful. She loves getting to see the girls...I just wish that we could get out to see her more often.

Addyson had a GREAT first week at her new gym. She trained 8 1/2 hours this week, including and hour in her new conditioning program, and she handled it very well! I asked her if it was too much or too hard and she, of course, said "no way." She was still flip-flopping around the house and doing handstands everywhere we went, so clearly, she hasn't had enough. :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new gym! I think it is going to be so great for her...I am very excited about the upcoming year(s) in her gymnastics career!

Aspynne is still doing great. I am picking up her 2nd refill of her prescription today, and still, she has seen no side effects to the medication. She is the sweetest, most loveable little girl EVER, and is absolutely perfect. God has done many mighty things in our lives...including healing our precious baby girl!

Pastor John gave a great sermon yesterday at VCC about stepping out of your comfort zone to follow God. About being willing to take that step to wherever God is leading you despite all of the trials, struggles and resistance that you know you are going to face. How true is it that we so often are willing to just settle because we are too lazy, scared and unsure about what would happen if we took a step out of our current complacency? After we left church yesterday, I began to think about what "comfort zone" I'm in that I know I need to leave, but haven't because of X, Y, Z.... I think I've figured it out. I will be praying over the next few days/weeks that I might hear God confirm that I truly have found the right thing. If it is what he is asking me to do, then I'm in....because I know that He is with me. I go with His peace and I need not fear.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (NKJV)

Just another little update...

Mom is doing somewhat better on her new pain regimen (the one I suggested, might I add). We are alternating Ibuprofen in between her pain pill doses, and it seems to be keeping her held over for the most part. Her biggest issue right now are the bed sores that they can't get to heal. The medicines are not working, they are getting worse, and are causing her a lot of pain. As of now, there are no infections in them, but that is what is coming if they can't get them under control.

Aspynne is great. She is still plugging along on the anti-seizure medications without effect, and is quite the chatty, happy little toddler. Her teeth seem to be bothering her the past few days, but that is to be expected at her age cutting all 4 molars at once. :)

Addyson is adjusting to school well....can you believe that next week is the end of the first 6 weeks? She got her very first "red light" yesterday for talking and not listening on multiple occasions, and then lied to us when we asked her if she got a green light yesterday. :( Please pray for her that we don't get on her too much for that. :)

As for us....life is busy. We are in meetings all week at the Corporate Office, and aren't home until late in the evenings, so this week is a whirlwind. I miss my babies and working from home, but all will be back in order next week.

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts as we embark on some personal decisions in our life about our careers, our family and our future. We are actively seeking direction from Him, and can use all the help we can get. With all this going on, I've often thought over the past few weeks "Why is life so hard? Why can't I go back to being 5 or 6 years old where my biggest concern was what kind of ice cream I'd like after school today!"

The most beautiful thing

Sorry again for the time that has elapsed since my last blog post... You guys should really ride me more often to keep this thing updated. :)

The family went to see Mom yesterday, and she is doing surprisingly better. She is alert, talkative and eating quite well. She seems overall in good spirits despite the constant pain that she is in, which is now our biggest problem. They have already tried a couple different pain medication regimens to no avail, so I asked my mom and dad to try something for me. I am by no means a doctor, but I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in, anyway.... Today, I called, and much to my surprise, they not only tried my suggestion, but it's working! Mom's pain was significantly better today than it has been, and she even slept fairly well last night! I am so glad. I am about to call and check on her again soon just to make sure that she is still doing well. I am so glad that I was able to suggest something that actually helped! (Thank you, God for that insight!)

As for Aspynne, things couldn't be better. We are 35 days seizure-free, and medicated successfully with absolutely NO side effects. God is so good. He has absolutely answered all of our prayers! Don't get me wrong, she's teething, she's tired, a little cranky, and getting quite defiant, might I add....but we welcome all of those things with open arms, as they are EXACTLY what an almost 19-month-old should be doing!

Addyson is doing great in school. She has had 2 straight weeks with :) days, and is just loving it. She has had no trouble adjusting to going to school or the new schedule (though she did sleep until 8 am yesterday morning which was nice). Tonight, after dinner, we came home and got ready for bed, read a book, and got ready to give hugs and kisses when Addyson told Bob that she was going to pray for a great day tomorrow, and that he was welcome to stay and pray with her if he'd like. We, of course, stayed and listened as she thanked God for a wonderful day today. She thanked him for two weeks of great days, prayed for more great days to come, and then, thanked God for being so wonderful to her mommy and daddy. She ended with an "I love you. Amen." That innocent little prayer was absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. Bob and I both left the room a little teary eyed!

I, too, thank God for how wonderful he has been to us. He has blessed us with a beautiful family, awesome friends and an amazing church.

So Proud!

Addyson competed in her 3rd meet of the season today. We've been working really hard on perfecting some skills, and working through some challenges she had in the past 2 meets. Let me just say.......WAY TO GO, ADDYSON!

I could just give you the scores, but I think it's important to let you know where we've come from....

Addyson started the day on bars. She just got her mill circle for the first time at practice on Thursday, but she didn't quite land it today (didn't really expect her to). We've been working on the other elements, though....and today, she scored an 8.150 on bars! (That's up from a low 7 in previous meets, which is FANTASTIC!)

From bars we moved on to the beam, which has been Addyson's nemesis at the last 2 meets. At both meets, she fell off the beam not just once, but twice, sending her score plummeting into the mid 6's. We have really been working on those skills and "sticking it," fighting to stay on the beam, and let me tell you... she did JUST that. She didn't fall off at all today...rocketing her beam score to an 8.7! I was hoping for a high 7...an 8, much less an 8.7 was much more than I ever could have hoped! She was so proud!

Next, was the floor routine. Addyson has all of the necessary skills on floor, we've just been dealing with some tightness and sloppiness issues. We've been practicing it over and over...and today, it REALLY REALLY paid off. Addyson scored a 9.2 on floor! That's up from a 7.8 at the last meet. Not only that, but it was the second highest score of the 15 girls on her team!

Addyson finished the night on vault, which she always performs well on. Tonight's score was down just slightly from last week, but the judges seemed to be a little tougher on vault tonight across the board. She got an 8.7 on her vault score.

That put her AA (all around) score at 34.75. That is up from her 2 previous outings at 32.1, which is a gain of 2.65! If you know anything at all about gymnastics, you know that over 2 1/2 points is MAJOR.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo proud of my baby girl. She was amazing tonight! She showed such maturity and dedication. Did I mention that she's the youngest on the team? By a full year? :)

As for the other things in my life (which have all been overshadowed tonight by Addyson's amazing performance), all is well for now. Aspynne is doing and feeling well. Still plugging along on her meds like a champ. Today was 29 days since her last seizure, which is the longest between seizures since we had the first one! I truly believe that she has been healed, and that she doesn't even need the medicine. I don't plan on stopping it, nonetheless, but I believe that season in our lives is over.

Mom is doing o.k....she was rather weak today, and is again having some stomach troubles, but all in all is awake, alert and eating fairly well. I hate that we didn't get to go see her this weekend, but it was a very busy weekend with a lot of much needed FUN!

Why???

Sometimes I just don't understand.

Just when things are really looking up. Just when I think I can let down my guard and be happy for a moment.....just ONE moment.

Tonight, I struggle with anger. I am trying to forgive as Jesus did, but right now, I just don't have it in me. Everything inside of my just wants to blow up, but I have managed to refrain. Partially because I am so dissapointed, angry and sad that I just don't even know what to say.

It is so frustrating that something can so quickly and so dramatically change your mood. How fast a great moment can be shattered. Why does it have to happen this way? I can't help but feel like it's Satan chasing me down. While I didn't physically feel good today, I felt good today. Worken on my bible study. Read my bible. Felt confident and strong in my faith. Just a few hours later, I am struggling to figure out how to be still and act as a true Christian should. Why is it when you are challenged to the very core do you feel like running in the opposite direction?

I am in such inner turmoil that I'm afraid I may have trouble sleeping tonight. Yay. Just what I need to help me feel even worse tomorrow.

Interruptions....

Seems that we've had a lot going on lately. So much so that I've neglected my blog for a couple days.

Mom is at home, and doing fairly well... she's awake, alert and communicating, and says she's not in pain. The only problem now is that she's not eating. She hasn't really eaten much of anything in around 12 days....just a little applesauce and pudding here and there. While that's a really good diet if you're 6 months old and supplementing with formula, I'm not sure it's going to give my 60 year old mom and her failing body the energy it needs to keep fighting. Her body has gotten so weak over the past month that she can't move a single part of her body except her head. She is, by all intensive purposes, frozen in place and completely dependent on someone else to move her, feed her, clean her, wipe her nose, itch her arm, you name it. I can't imagine that is fun.

I believe if I were in her place, I would remind myself of this passage every day:

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73:23-26

Aspynne is still doing well on her anti-seizure medication. At the 9 days on full dosage mark, we still seem to be experiencing no side effects and she hasn't had another seizure. God is good. We are fighting another cold, and cutting all 4 molars (yay), but that is to be expected of an 18-month old. We saw the pediatrician yesterday about her "viral rash" that just won't go away, and she is sending us to have it checked out by a Pediatric Dermatologist. Aspynne now has a Pediatrician, a Pediatric Opthamologist, a Pediatric Neurologist and a Pediatric Dermatologist....
Does anyone else think thats a few too many doctors for an 18-month old? Geez.

Before I end, I would like to share something from this week's Bible Study. We are learning about Jonah, and his "interrupted" life. It is so easy to look at life's "interruptions" in a negative way (which I am so guilty of), instead of looking at them as Divine Interventions into our lives. It's easy to be so irritated by the interruption that you miss the good that comes out of it. How lucky are we that God even cares enough about our life to interrupt it? He uses interruptions to put us on a different path, change our course, and use us to glorify Him. I am going to work hard at changing my thought process when an interruption happens in my life. I am going to embrace it, welcome the challenge, and follow God onto whatever path or season he has in store for me.

I find myself thinking of following Him and the words of this song flow through my head:


Follow You
You live among the least of these
The weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away
All my needs you have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
How could I not give it away so freely?

And I’ll follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God
Follow You into the world

Use my hands use my feet
To make Your kingdom come
To the corners of the earth
Until Your work is done
‘Cause faith without works is dead
And on the cross
Your blood was shed
So how could we not give it away so freely?

I give all myself
I give all myself
I give all myself to You

And I’ll follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God
Follow You into the world

Mom is home!

Quick update for everyone:

Mom came home yesterday and is doing O.K. She's still extremely weak and is not eating much at all. She is very glad to be home, though.... I will be going to see her Sunday after church.

Addyson and I are in Weatherford tonight at a hotel getting ready for tomorrow morning's gymnastics meet! We have to be at the gym for warm ups at 7:45am. Yuck!

Aspynne is still doing great on her meds....a little sleepy, but great mood!

Thanks again for all of your continued support!