Why???

Sometimes I just don't understand.

Just when things are really looking up. Just when I think I can let down my guard and be happy for a moment.....just ONE moment.

Tonight, I struggle with anger. I am trying to forgive as Jesus did, but right now, I just don't have it in me. Everything inside of my just wants to blow up, but I have managed to refrain. Partially because I am so dissapointed, angry and sad that I just don't even know what to say.

It is so frustrating that something can so quickly and so dramatically change your mood. How fast a great moment can be shattered. Why does it have to happen this way? I can't help but feel like it's Satan chasing me down. While I didn't physically feel good today, I felt good today. Worken on my bible study. Read my bible. Felt confident and strong in my faith. Just a few hours later, I am struggling to figure out how to be still and act as a true Christian should. Why is it when you are challenged to the very core do you feel like running in the opposite direction?

I am in such inner turmoil that I'm afraid I may have trouble sleeping tonight. Yay. Just what I need to help me feel even worse tomorrow.